Thursday, December 9, 2010

Modeling

I've been on a prophetic kick the last couple of posts.  Let me move back over to story telling for a bit.

I have attended more hours of classroom and seminar instruction that I can remember.  In the first year of my Master's program I was assigned 10,000 pages of reading.  As I am filling out job applications I keep remembering more things I have been exposed to.  I know there are some things still rattling around in my brain that haven't come to the fore yet.

Of all the instructions I have "heard" the ones that have stuck with me the most are the things I learned by modeling--watching someone do something.  As I worked with persons in Theotherapy it wasn't the things the participants had learned in class that caused them the problems they were facing.  It was the actions of others (or the lack of actions) that caused the problems--behavior they had seen modeled that they embraced for themselves.

For instance, what did you learn about conflict resolution in your family setting?  Did you observe your parents having a quarrel?  Did they yell and shout at each other or did they clam up and go quietly about their business for the rest of the day...or week...or month.  Were they able to talk out their disagreements, hear each other clearly and resolve the conflict?  Or maybe you never heard your parents have a disagreement.  In that case, you learned (falsely) that couples always get along and don't ever have quarrels.  How realistic is that?

One of the things my Mom used to tell me when I got bored as a kid (before I was able to have a summer job) was that I should go out and watch the birds.  I always thought that was lame and it didn't interest me in the least.  But more importantly, I never saw my mom go out and watch the birds!  What I saw her doing (and doing and doing) was work from dawn until dark.  She was the first one up and the last one to go to bed and she seldom sat down to do anything relaxing.  So when I got bored I was looking for activity!  Give me something to do.

I learned the lesson all too well.  I find it hard to sit down and just do nothing.  I still seldom go out on my deck and watch the birds.  In fact I seldom go out on my deck except to sweep it off, move something around or bring things out and put them away when the season dictates it.

I have learned some great things through modeling.  I watched my Dad tackle home remodeling projects when he hadn't had any instruction from his Dad in how to do things.  I have learned incredible skills in building from some of the best craftsmen I have seen.  They taught me how to lay block, frame houses, hang drywall, finish drywall as I watched them perform their gifts with such skill.  I've also learned how not to do some things but most of those I learned on my own by trial and error.

One of the other most important things I have learned is how to relate to people.  I used to follow my friend Nate Miller around in OH when we first moved there.  He never met a stranger.  It didn't matter how weird or quiet or outgoing they were, he could become their friend in a matter of minutes.  He drug all sorts of kids to his farm to have them work alongside him and impact their lives.  He isn't shy about meeting anyone including thieves.

The rest of that story is that we were camping one time down near Loudonville, OH when someone took off with our coolers.  Nate saw them going and ran after them calling out for them to stop.  He got our cooler back and he also brought back the guys who stole it.  He sat them down and talked to them!  And it was with the kind and gentle instruction of someone who loves you.  I had never seen that before!

I learned anger from others and unlearned most of those responses by watching others.  I've learned how to have a better relationship with my wife from others.  I've learned more about becoming a man of God and walking in my gifting from others who have shown me the way.

I hope you have had positive role models in your life.  If you haven't there is still hope.  I can remember when the book Wild At Heart first fell into my hands.  I longed for some men to show me how to live like the Godly men I read about in Eldredge's book.  The book came into my hands after I had cried out to God for a role model for Godly manhood.  I got the book and then the Father began to bring me examples of Godly men to model my life after.  I was literally taught by the Holy Spirit how to be a Godly man (I am still in need of instruction in that area!).  So don't give up if you don't have a role model for positive behavior.  God can still meet your need.

Lawlessness

This one will probably step on some toes...but isn't that the job of a prophet?  That's why the OT prophets tried to talk God out of calling them to that responsibility.

I want more spiritual authority in my life.  I want to see the powers of darkness pushed back and the captives set free.  Those of you who know me well know that my theme passage in life is Isaiah 61.

One of the brothers in the body of Christ that I listen to often is Arthur Burk.  He is out on the edge in his spiritual walk and that's the kind of guy I want to hear from.  A mutual friend of ours mentioned to me around New Year's last year that Arthur had suggested that if we want more spiritual authority in our lives we need to be obedient to the law.  Now he is not advocating just being Pharisees or Sadduces and trying to keep the 614 Jewish laws for the sake of the appearance.  And he's not trying to get people to become proud of their "righteousness".  He wants to see more Christians with spiritual authority active in the world.  I'd say we need it, don't you?

So what practical thing did he suggest?  That we as Christians obey the speed limit.  Stepped on my toes!  I had gradually over the years stepped up my speed on the road to keep up with the traffic.  I had noticed in frequent driving that the cops usually didn't bother you doing as much as 10 mph over the speed limit.  In fact, I had heard 15 was now the new limit to get one of them to introduce themselves to you along the road.

I felt convicted, not by the judgment of the person who shared this with me, but by the Holy Spirit.  I want more spiritual authority in my life.  I want to see the power of God released through me as a part of the body of Christ to do battle with the forces of darkness that are ruining the lives of too many in our world.

So shortly after I heard this call, I began to set my cruise control to the speed limit regardless of where I was--local roads, rural roads, interstates.  25, 35, 45, 55, 65.  I got to see the front of a lot of cars in my mirror very close to my rear bumper.  People didn't like it who were following me.  They passed me on double yellow lines, single yellow lines, turning lanes, anywhere they could get around me.  I have been amused to see how many of them I meet at the next traffic light.

I haven't (well, most of the time) used my speed to aggravate them.  I don't pull out in the fast lane on the interstate just to slow someone down.  I have pulled off the road to let some of the drivers go by.  I don't want the stress of having them right on my tail.  In fact, I've noticed something.  In eight months of driving 45 minutes to work every day I found myself arriving both at home and work less stressed.  Our road trips have been less stressful.  I kinda like not having the worry of getting a ticket or getting in someone else's way or having them get in my way and stressing about it.

I live in a conservative county, Lancaster, in PA where there are a lot of church-going people.  Some of them wear little coverings on their head to affirm their being under authority.  Some of them drive black or dark vehicles to avoid the things of the world.  Others look just like me.  But I don't see many of them driving the speed limit. 

I have wondered, what would happen to the traffic here in Lancaster County if the professing Christians drove the speed limit?  For that matter, what would happen if they began to obey the rest of the traffic laws like stopping at stop signs, stopping at red lights, only using designated turn lanes to make a turn?  Take it a step further.  What if the Christians would begin to be courteous in their responses to other drivers?  Would it make a difference in the culture here?

I believe it would...one person at a time.  Think about it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Manipulation

I've read so many books and articles and heard so many speakers I can't always remember where I heard something.  But there are things that stick in my mind as if nuclear charged by the Holy Spirit.  What I'm writing about today is one of those.

I don't know about you but most of my Christian life I've heard sermons and teaching on how to be a nice guy.  I've heard lots of sermons that were chock full of truth but didn't have much practical application to my life.  That's because the speaker didn't go there.  It's difficult to talk about how truth applies to your life.  You might reveal something about your own sins.  Or you might step on the toes of someone who is important.  Or someone who will confront you because they didn't like what you said.  It came too close to home for them.

But this one is serious and I don't think that I heard it in a sermon.  Manipulation is being used daily by Christians.  Broken Christians who are trying to get their needs met by someone other than God.  They are attempting to cause the behavior of someone in their life to be changed so that it meets their selfish needs. 

It's a lot easier to try to get someone else to meet our needs than to do the hard work of touching the pain and working through to healing with the Father.  The Father wants to be intimate with us and to meet our every need but he is a gentleman and won't barge into our lives.  He waits to be invited.  And sometimes the process of inviting him is much more difficult than just trying to get someone else to meet our selfish needs.  Sometimes the Father doesn't jump when we snap our fingers like someone else in our lives might if we put pressure on them.

When we are broken we don't think of others, but only ourselves.  We are our primary concern because we are in pain.  No one else's pain or life is as important as our own.  It is really immature behavior.  We look to someone else to meet our needs just as a child does.  The problem is God wants us to come to him with our needs and not go to others.  He wants to be the source of all our resources.  Yes, he will use people but they will be responding to his will in their lives and not ours as they come to impact us.

Here's where it gets really sticky.  Manipulation is witchcraft.  And there are Christians every day practicing witchcraft in attempts to get their needs met by someone else other than God.  Manipulation is witchcraft because we are trying to control the lives of others and get them to do our will.  When we do that it gets in the way of that person listening to the Father for guidance to do his will.

Manipulation is sticky because it usually involves someone in our lives that is close to us...a boss, a work colleague, a partner in a marriage, a family member, a brother or sister in the church.  It really puts the person in the focus of the manipulation in a very difficult place.  They have to take a risky stand to thwart the manipulation.  They have to put at risk a relationship that is meaningful to them on some level.  When someone is confronted about manipulation or they don't get their way it can get ugly.

How is manipulation touching your life today?  Are you the victim of someone's manipulation?  Are you the manipulator?  My prayer is that the Holy Spirit will do for us all today what he promises...that he will lead us into all truth and he will reveal our sin to us.  Expect it.  He is faithful.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Shy

I know it's hard for those of you who know me today to believe that at one time I was shy.  I didn't feel very good about myself.  I had to fight with my mom to get to wear the latest in clothing styles.  She wanted to make my clothes...and I wanted to wear HIS peg-legged pants that didn't fit my huge calves and Aigler wool socks that made my feet sweat and itch.

Anyway, I was backward.  My mom had often told me to just go up to people, stick out my hand and introduce myself.  But no one listens to their mom when they are a teenager.

One summer when I was 13-15 I went to Ridgecrest, NC outside Asheville to a Baptist youth camp for a week.  I shared a room with an older guy from our church, Ken Johnson.  I looked up to him as one of the wiser ones to get to know.  He was also a good friend of another of my friends, Larry Dye.

I remember laying in bed one night talking to Ken about how shy I was and how hard it was to meet people and feel like I belonged.  He said, "Just go up to people, stick out your hand and introduce yourself to them.  Then ask them who they are and find out about their lives."  Wow, you just don't ever know what some seemingly off-hand comments you may make can so greatly influence someone else's life!  And yes, it was the same thing my mother had said to me.

I have learned in years of meeting people that one thing all people like to talk about is...themselves.  In fact, I am amazed at the intimate things people will share with you if you are willing to listen regardless of the setting you are in.  I have met so many very interesting people by introducing myself and asking them what they do, what they like, what hobbies they have, where they are from or if they are a native to the area we are standing in at that moment.  In fact, I have said that meeting a new person is like opening a Christmas package to me.  I am always surprised and delighted with what I find.

I'll have to tell you a reverse of that situation.  We were on the University of Chicago's campus for a prospective parents' weekend with Benjamin.  At a reception at one of the professor's homes I walked up to a guy and asked him what he did after meeting him.  He replied that he was an orthopedic surgeon.  "Wow, you fix joints and muscles."  I was impressed and I knew right away that he probably had a check book that could write out the tuition and board check of $28,000 without batting an eye.

But the funny thing is...and most people don't do this...he asked me what I did.  At the time I was selling fabric among the Amish communities of IN, PA, OH and IA.  His face lit up and he became genuinely interested in asking me more about my job.  You see, most of the time when you ask someone about their lives they will talk for hours without asking you about yours.

He was really impressed, so much so, that when we saw him on campus the next day with his son the first thing he said to his son was, you'll never believe what this guy does for a living.

The reason most people will talk about themselves as long as you will listen is that most people don't have someone who will just listen to them.  Who will ask questions to get to know the real them.  Everyone has a story to tell and believe me, from experience, I know that God hasn't created a one of you alike.  Just ask me!

I hope some of your best Christmas gifts you open this year are the lives of others around you.

Winkey Pratney

I stayed awake last night thinking of several blogs I wanted to write so I might as well get them off my mind while I am awake.  Maybe I can sleep tonight.

For some reason the time I was in the navy traveling around the world I had several divine appointments where the Father connected me with people that influenced my life.  I don't have ones as dramatic as that now but there were plenty of them then.

As I've written before I ran in to a variety of people who were not followers of Christ when I joined the navy.  My faith at that point had been tested but not to the extent that it was when I encountered a metaphysician, a voodoo practitioner, homosexuals and others with strange theological views.  I was floating around in the Mediterranean without local theological libraries to visit so I depended on God to bring me the resources I needed.

I don't remember where we were in the world or what brought me to an aircraft carrier but I do remember standing on the level below the flight deck, used as a hangar.  I was talking with one of the persons who had put on some kind of program and I mentioned what I was facing in reaching the other guys on my ship.  They brought out a loose leaf 8.5 x 11 notebook with a red cover called Youth Aflame by an author named Winkey Pratney.  I believe he was from New Zealand or Australia.

The notebook was a comprehensive topical study of several Bible themes.  As I worked through it looking up every scripture I found myself going back and forth throughout the whole Bible learning scripture that I had never been exposed to.  I studied it every day as I sat in my office after working hours for several months.

It put significant tools in my hands and also exposed me to Biblical theology in a way none of the courses I later took in seminary did.  In fact, I'm glad I had this book before I went to seminary!  It also dove-tailed with the book from Francis Schaeffer that came to me about the same time.  I'm not sure where that notebook is right now but I'm sure I could find it if I dug in enough boxes.

Fast forward to 1988 and Washington DC.  I was there for a leadership conference and hadn't found anyone to hang out with.  One evening I went out for dinner after the afternoon session had ended.  I remember walking out from the hotel, down the street past several restaurants.  It was early for dinner, about 5 ish, so none of the restaurants had a lot of patrons.  After walking a block or two I turned around and walked back to a restaurant that had caught my eye.

I ended up in an Italian restaurant if my memory serves me well.  I was seated at one of those upholstered seats that ran past several 2 topper tables with individual chairs on the other side.  While I was beginning my meal two men walked in and were seated about 2 tables away from me.  I couldn't help but overhear their conversation and to my amazement, one of the men identified themselves as Winkey Pratney!

I boldly invited myself to interrupt their conversation and introduced myself, telling Winkey that the story of the loose leaf notebook I had.  He mentioned that that was a rarity.  I had seen it in print in a bound book but it wasn't nearly as helpful to leaf through as I had found the copy that I had.

Long story short, as we talked I mentioned to him that I was a pastor (in my third year at that time) and that I wanted to communicate to my congregation better.  He told me to ditch the style I had been taught in seminary, get a lapel mike and get out from behind the pulpit.  He said to tailor my messages to a 16 year old who would be sitting in my congregation and I would find that I was communicating more effectively.

I remember doing that and it changed my speaking style forever...and I believe for the better.

The stories my friend Nate told me this week about his encounters with people in Panama reminded me that God our Father knows where we are and he knows what we need.  He is ready to supply that at the appropriate time...without fail.  May you experience some of his loving actions like that today.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Management

Many of you have heard me hold forth on management in conversations along the way.  I'm going to write some about it today but I need to give a disclaimer. 

As a person with prophetic tendencies, I am looking for things to be the way that they are meant to be.  That comes from the spiritual world where prophets call the people of God back to the way God wants it to be.  We are always seeing things that are out of place and calling them into place.  Like all of us we have the seeds of the garden of Eden and the perfection of God's creation deep in our hearts.  With that comes the longing to have things be the way they were before the fall and the way they will be in eternity.

I am amazed at the lack of management I see throughout our world of business and government.  I might as well add Christian ministries to that list.  My perspective has been from the place of small, entrepreneurial businesses who have to be managed well or they don't survive.  During my work career (that I hope is not ended) I have seen businesses of all sizes managed poorly.

In particular I remember going after the weekly inserts from a new Kroger store in New Philadelphia, OH.  It was an early super store.  I was working for the Bargain Hunter at the time and we were able to put their weekly inserts of food specials into specific neighborhoods to insure peak performance.  I was amazed that they had built this huge new store and didn't know where they were expecting their customers to come from and therefore couldn't tell me which neighborhoods they wanted to place their flyers in.  It was no surprise that the store closed within a couple of years of opening because the business they wanted wasn't there.

Another business I'm aware of came through a very good business climate and apparent success...with debt, outdated equipment and disorganization.  It's amazing that they can continue in business.  They should have money in the bank, all the latest equipment and a well oiled management team in place to take them into the future.  Instead, their future is questionable.  They felt good about what they had accomplished but it was far less than their potential.  The potential was wasted and so were the resources that passed through their hands over the years.

So what if a company isn't managed well?  As long as the owners or stockholders are being paid well and have what they want does it really matter?  It matters.  Poor management wastes resources.  In the case of a small business if they don't manage their resources well they don't produce the profit they should.  Or to put it another way they don't adequately cover their expenses in a way that allows them to rightfully provide for their employees who do the work for them.  They don't generate enough resources to fund giving back to their communities, to the poor or to others who have needs.

I'm still reading through the Time/Life series on WWII.  In the most recent volume I am reading I came across a report by Ernie Pyle, a familiar correspondent during the war.  He had discussed the cost of war with some of the troops who were fighting to take Italy back from the Germans.  They figured in some rough way that it cost $25,000 per German that was killed.

Think about that.  Think about the cost of war...in capital, human resources, natural resources, time.  Even wars that aren't managed properly (if you can even get your head around that) cost incredibly more than they need to.

I'm passionate about managing things well.  I don't like to see things wasted.  I think it is a crime to waste things...and people.  I'm sad that persons like myself who are gifted and have much to offer are instead sitting at home drawing unemployment.  I don't think that would be happening if things in our world were managed well.  I've never had enough that I felt like I could just throw it away.  My hope is that I can work out the rest of my life helping others manage resources well and providing for those who aren't able with the surplus.