My capacity for change has drastically changed over the years. I'll tell you why in a few lines.
This week was about change. I relocated from my friend's house to a geo-bachelors' house. I moved my stuff into the living room of the big house I share with 10 others. Its in a great neighborhood and my ride to work now includes the opportunity to hit deer. I saw three this week.
Pat and I delivered my furniture down there on Sun and I finished the move in on Mon. I got used to the doors rattling, the heater kicking on and hearing my housemate above get up at 4:30 am so he could go to work too. I made room in one of the two refrigerators for my cold foods and stuck a few things in a cabinet they vacated for me.
When I walked in on Thurs evening I was met with one of my housemate's comments...I hear you're moving to the basement. News to me. After a discussion with my landlord by phone (she is in Chicago) I resolved that money won out and I lost (not really). So I spent the evening moving to the basement room. There I share a bath with only one other person who is hardly ever there. I have a small kitchenette to use and a more quiet atmosphere. Believe me, my housemates were closely watching my reaction.
This week I also had my computer upgraded at work from Windows XP/Office 2003 to Windows 7/Office 2010. I was feeling really smug until I realized that I couldn't print to our printer in the office because it wasn't Windows 7 compatible. By Thurs I had found someone to assist me in doing a workaround which I shared with one of my office colleagues who is also adapting to Windows 7...and couldn't print.
One of the things all of us try to do is find a comfort zone, a normal that we can adapt to that will reduce the stress of change in our lives. We want things in the same place so we can find them. We want our own bed, our type of soap, etc to make us feel at ease and at home.
I used to really be like that. Surprises were not a fun thing for me. I was so used to protecting myself and not having anyone who had my back that I lived in tension and fear of another change. Pat could set me off by moving my favorite chair to the other side of the room (which she did often as a creative person). One of the funny stories Nissa like to tell on me is how she capped an empty two liter bottle and then knocked it over. I bolted and thought for sure we had spilled soft drink everywhere.
My lack of comfort was sad.
It took a long time to get over it. That's because the atmosphere I was raised in was one of constant tension and alarm. I was always poised for a fight. I had to grieve the lack of safety I felt as a child...and adult, allowing the Father to show me that He is always with me. I knew that intellectually but not deep in my heart. There, fear still resided and controlled my life.
It took a long time until I could trust my Father. He had to gently show me that He was going before me and was always by my side.
The fruit of that transition is one where I am no longer debilitated by fear when change comes into my life. There is nothing that will separate me from the assistance of my Father. He will help me face anything that comes my way. In that place of peace I can think more clearly for solutions rather than being frozen by the awareness of my lack. I have become a problem solver. I can work through most any challenge because the Father has contained me with his enveloping arms.
One of the weaknesses of the Body of Christ today is the fear of change. We are afraid to change from hymns to scripture songs. We are afraid to reach out to others who are hurting because we don't know how to find healing for our own hurt. We have been lulled into immobility by the fear of change.
But the Holy Spirit is a dynamic being. He facilitates change in us, teaching us, leading us into all righteousness, taking us to the frontiers of our lives and world. If we are afraid of change, we are going to resist the movement of the Holy Spirit. Don't mean to disturb you but that is sin. Really, I do mean to disturb you. I want to shake you from your artificial comfort zone and get you to the real comfort zone of reliance on the Father.
How many changes have we missed that the Holy Spirit has attempted to bring to our faith walk? Is it possible that "church" shouldn't be meeting on Sun morning any more? Is it possible that we need to give up scripture songs for another form of music that brings people to the feet of the Father? Is it possible that we need to move from the country to the city? Is it possible that we need to fight rather than become complacent? Are we being led from our comfort zones to the battle front so that we can bring the world to Christ?
If you are afraid of change, the Father wants to heal you. He needs you to be comfortable with change because that's what growing in Christ is all about...changing from glory to glory. Changing from brokenness to wholeness. Changing from hiding to being revealed. Changing from an intellectual faith to a heart faith that allows us to move mountains. Its time to get out of the sandbox.
