Shy

I know it's hard for those of you who know me today to believe that at one time I was shy.  I didn't feel very good about myself.  I had to fight with my mom to get to wear the latest in clothing styles.  She wanted to make my clothes...and I wanted to wear HIS peg-legged pants that didn't fit my huge calves and Aigler wool socks that made my feet sweat and itch.

Anyway, I was backward.  My mom had often told me to just go up to people, stick out my hand and introduce myself.  But no one listens to their mom when they are a teenager.

One summer when I was 13-15 I went to Ridgecrest, NC outside Asheville to a Baptist youth camp for a week.  I shared a room with an older guy from our church, Ken Johnson.  I looked up to him as one of the wiser ones to get to know.  He was also a good friend of another of my friends, Larry Dye.

I remember laying in bed one night talking to Ken about how shy I was and how hard it was to meet people and feel like I belonged.  He said, "Just go up to people, stick out your hand and introduce yourself to them.  Then ask them who they are and find out about their lives."  Wow, you just don't ever know what some seemingly off-hand comments you may make can so greatly influence someone else's life!  And yes, it was the same thing my mother had said to me.

I have learned in years of meeting people that one thing all people like to talk about is...themselves.  In fact, I am amazed at the intimate things people will share with you if you are willing to listen regardless of the setting you are in.  I have met so many very interesting people by introducing myself and asking them what they do, what they like, what hobbies they have, where they are from or if they are a native to the area we are standing in at that moment.  In fact, I have said that meeting a new person is like opening a Christmas package to me.  I am always surprised and delighted with what I find.

I'll have to tell you a reverse of that situation.  We were on the University of Chicago's campus for a prospective parents' weekend with Benjamin.  At a reception at one of the professor's homes I walked up to a guy and asked him what he did after meeting him.  He replied that he was an orthopedic surgeon.  "Wow, you fix joints and muscles."  I was impressed and I knew right away that he probably had a check book that could write out the tuition and board check of $28,000 without batting an eye.

But the funny thing is...and most people don't do this...he asked me what I did.  At the time I was selling fabric among the Amish communities of IN, PA, OH and IA.  His face lit up and he became genuinely interested in asking me more about my job.  You see, most of the time when you ask someone about their lives they will talk for hours without asking you about yours.

He was really impressed, so much so, that when we saw him on campus the next day with his son the first thing he said to his son was, you'll never believe what this guy does for a living.

The reason most people will talk about themselves as long as you will listen is that most people don't have someone who will just listen to them.  Who will ask questions to get to know the real them.  Everyone has a story to tell and believe me, from experience, I know that God hasn't created a one of you alike.  Just ask me!

I hope some of your best Christmas gifts you open this year are the lives of others around you.