Tolerance

Tolerance is a word I have most often heard in relation to mechanical tolerances.  The Japanese have long been known for their close tolerances in their mechanical parts.  That's part of what makes them last so long.  Compare the engine of a Model T to one in a Lexus.  It's hard to believe they are both the same kind of machine.  The closer tolerances of the Lexus make the engine purr rather than rattle and clank like the Model T.

In more recent days I have heard tolerance used as a way to describe my feelings toward those who are not like me.  I am, being politically correct, to be tolerant of those who have a different lifestyle than mine.  Funny how many times those persons aren't tolerant of where I am.

So does God just call us to be tolerant of people?  That seems so negative.  Like I just can't hardly stand to be with someone but I'll suck it up and make the best of it.  Hopefully, it won't last long.  I'm sure when I am being merely "tolerant" that the other person is able to pick that up.  My smile is fake and they know it.  Trust me, God doesn't need us to "act" tolerant.

What I've found as the Father has healed my heart is that I am more genuinely tolerant of others.  I'm even patient with their dysfunction, not just tolerant of it.  I'm even compassionate of the place they find themselves in.

What changed all that?

When I was hurting so badly I couldn't think of any one else but me.  I was in pain so I needed all the attention and sympathy I could get.  My pain was sticking out all over so I didn't have more than a second or two of tolerance for someone else's behavior.  Wow!  Sounds a lot like a 2 year old.

As the Father has healed my wounds I have found that I have more compassion for the misbehaviors, if you will, of others.  I see people in the traffic here in DC with microseconds of patience with the other vehicles and their drivers.  It's hard not to judge them but as I remember and am reminded by the Holy Spirit I pray for them and bless them.  They are hurting and don't have the capacity to give others room in their lives...or room in their lane of traffic.

As I have come to know the Father more intimately I have relaxed a whole bunch.  Talk to those who know me well (my wife).  I'm not the same person...and no, it's not the medication I'm on.

It's because I know I don't have to fight for space in this world.  I am a child of my Father.  He loves me.  He cares for me.  He is with me wherever I go.  He comforts me.  He has great patience with me.  He has tolerated me in my sin for a long time.  As I receive His love, experience His patience with me and know how He feels about me as one of His children I can love others.  I can give them the grace they need.  I can demonstrate the love of the Father for them.  I can have mercy when they are so wounded that they can't think of any one else.

That clanking engine in the Model T reminds me of the scripture in Corinthians that says that without love we are like a clanging bell.  Not a pleasant sound.

Let me suggest you stop trying to "love" or be "tolerant" of others.  Your efforts are going to come across as fake to those who hurt.  Stop long enough to let the Father love you, heal your wounds and pour grace on your wounded soul.  Then your "tolerance" will come across as that Lexus and will purrrrrrrr....right into the heart of the one you are loving.