Guidance

I've been a follower of Christ for almost 50 years.  I've seen a lot of changes in my relationship with my Savior including how I receive His guidance.

Early on I resorted to things like opening to Bible to a random place to find a scripture that might just give me an answer to the question I had.  I also relied heavily on "fleeces" to confirm what I thought God was saying to me.  Then there was the time in my life when I expected the supernatural...God speaking directly to me through a prophet or some other phenomena.

But as I have aged and as I have become more comfortable with the intimacy of my relationship to my heavenly Father I am leaning more through nudges and gentle leading.

When we left OH three years ago it was obvious that God wanted us to shake loose.  He brought help at just the right time, opened person's hearts to show ways He loved us and provided a buyer for our home when the realtor was bracing us for low ball figure due to the economy.

We got here with every intention of staying here for the rest of our lives.  Nissa seemed the least likely one of our children to be moving any time soon.  Besides the other two live where summer is only a day or so a year.  I was going to invest in my son-in-law's business and help him grow it as a gift of blessing to him.

But that didn't last and my job with a former congregational member who had been after me for years to work for him went up in smoke after 9 months.  I now have spent the last 8 months being unemployed.  That's a first for me in all my working life.  I've usually gone from one job right to another with little time in between, started at the bottom earning vacation and trying to find a comfortable spot to excel.

It became evident recently that we don't appear to be destined to stay in Lancaster County very long.  In fact, June 1st will be our three year anniversary of when we arrived.  Strange to think that I may be starting a job in another city with a move in the wings on my 3 year anniversary.  What a change from what we expected!

I found that's how the Father is.  When we got to Holmes County in 1992 we came there to hide from the world and recover from the brokenness we experienced in serving God full time.  We didn't ask God if it was okay with Him.  We just sent Him a change of address card.  We purposely bought our home west of where we had a lot of friends so we could hide, thinking that we would again retire right there...forever.

When God calls He often does so contrary to our plans.  He shakes us loose.  He causes circumstances to go differently than we expected.  And if we are listening, He is gently nudging us toward His will for our lives and not our own.

I have been encumbered by things most of my life.  I'm still carrying around sweatshirts from my college days (no they don't fit anymore).  I just put my low cut Converse tennis shoes from high school and 70's style boots from my navy days in a bag to go to Goodwill.  I have toy trucks from my father and also from my childhood that I have drug around expecting some day to stop long enough and have enough space to display them.  I've never lived in a museum yet.

After the last 8 months at home with time to go through things I am hearing the Father tell me to get rid of the clutter.  It was a difficult step to admit that the Jeep I've owned for 25 years needed to go away.   I finally had a place to store it well and work on it but have never had the time or resources to do so.  I bought it with the idea of fun and that's what it has represented to me all these years.  And yet, it has caused me a lot of work to move it here and there.

I have realized that my identity isn't in all these things that I've carried around all these years.  They don't define who I am.  Neither does my job represent the sum total of who I am.  So in these quiet days the last several months I am hearing a very loving, gentle Father set me free from all the things that I thought defined me.

He hasn't done it with lightning, fleeces, prophetic words or any of the colorful ways I used to expect Him to speak to me.  He has just quietly spoken to my heart.  He has gently nudged me toward things I was afraid of.  He has walked right beside me in my transformation.

We may be moving to the Washington, DC area.  I'll know more after Tuesday.  Live in the city?  Ride the metro to work every day?  Live in a condo or townhouse?  Not have room for all my stuff?  Who would have thought?  My Father, who wants the very best for me in all the ways He impacts my life.  Would I have left the tranquility of Holmes County to go directly to Washington?  Very doubtful.

We'll keep you posted on where the nudges take us.