I continue to see and hear about people in places of responsibility who are offended when someone challenges some of their conclusions or suggests another way of doing things. The reaction is not spiritual, professional or any other descriptive word you might use in your expectations of interactions with adults.
That's because we aren't dealing with adults...but merely children in maturing bodies. We are dealing with individuals who are stuck back in their selfish, me-only childhoods where they didn't receive all they were designed for. We are dealing with older (chronologically) people who are still looking for their affirmations and value from how others treat them. They are applying solutions to their relationships that worked with they were a child but don't fit at all in the world of adults.
You've seen it. Pouting. Holding on to an "offense". Manipulation. Wanting things "my way" and only my way.
Paul admonished the early Christians to put away childish things. He wasn't talking about ceasing to sing songs like Jesus Loves Me. Or getting a Thompson chain reference Bible rather than continuing to carry your picture Bible. Or giving more than a quarter in the offering plate. He was talking about the way we relate to others, among many other behaviors that we needed to give up.
I've seen so many people in business settings who continue to act as if they were 5 years old. One of my colleagues that I've written about is still in a snit about something I said to affirm one of the others in the office. He became offended when I didn't tell him what an incredible individual he was. That was months ago and the ice still hangs on his words. He didn't get the affirmation his heart longed for when he was a child and he is still looking for it in his business setting. The problem is I didn't expect to have that reaction from him when I hadn't heard him say "wah, wah, wah".
As I learned many years ago you and I were designed for an unconditional love of a Father. We were created with a need to be nurtured, comforted and contained. Most of us didn't get that. We were probably well fed, clothed and disciplined. But even if we were active in church all our lives few of us were given the opportunity to examine our immaturity of emotions, our deepest needs, the hunger of our hearts.
I realize more and more every day how incredibly blessed I am to have found a place and learned to know my Father in a more intimate way so that I could have many (not all yet!) of those needs met. I learned how willing the Father is to meet my needs. I learned that He doesn't expect me to just read black words on a white page (the Bible) and learn to know Him. I got to hang out with Him and others who were in His presence.
This is such a contrast to what we experience in our churches. We mature in our physical bodies (and then they begin to break down). We are intellectually encouraged to become depositories of Biblical knowledge (without application to our deepest needs). We are called to "serve" others when the only motivation that we really have to do so is to get our needs met. Much of what I see offered as Christian service is really all about the individual who is serving and not about those being served.
How do we mature in our souls? We put aside childish things. We forgive those who didn't give us all we needed or were designed for. We lay down our immature ways of trying to get back at others who don't give us what we need. We confess our sin of looking to other gods to fill the deepest cries of our hearts. We put aside all the hindrances that stand in the way of seeing the Father clearly.
That may be for a time giving up reading the Scriptures, especially if they are a dead letter to you and your heart isn't in reading. It may be in giving up "doing" so much Christian ministry and focusing on "being" with the Father. It may be in looking for others...wherever they may be found...who have a heart hunger for intimacy with the Father. Who want to grow up from their selfish needs and expectations.
Back to the guy in my office. I could respond to his ice with ice of my own. That sounds mature doesn't it? No, what the Father has called me to do is to love him. How do I love him if I am expecting him to meet my needs by affirming me? What if he doesn't have the capacity to love me? What if his well is dry and he is thirsty for someone to love him for who he is and not what he can do?
I can love him by not responding to him in kind. I can continue to overlook his immaturity and try to reach the hurting individual within. I can continue to reach out to him in spite of his rejection. By allowing him to reject me who by God's grace won't reject him in kind he is exposed to the unconditional love of the Father that I have received. I wouldn't have it to give if I hadn't received it.
I still have some childish ways to give up. I want everyone to love me...but they don't. I want everyone to treat me with respect, especially on the road...but they don't. I have to discipline myself to reach out to the Father when I am rejected and receive from Him the unconditional love I need at that moment. He stands ready at every moment to give us all we need...so that we can give it to others who haven't received.
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