One of my earliest heros was the inventor, Thomas Edison. I'm not sure where I first learned about him and his exploits. I do remember that Mom and Dad took me to Menlo Park, NJ when we lived in NJ. I was about 12 and we visited on a gloomy fall Saturday afternoon. I remember the beauty of the campus where he did many experiments. The big windows. The work benches and the picture of Edison standing beside one of the workbenches. He was often said to sleep in his labs while working on an experiment.
I do know where he was solidified as one of my favorite persons. That was in my sophomore year in high school. My English teacher assigned all of the guys in the class to enter the Optimist Club Speech Contest. We were to write a speech with assistance from the girls in the class, memorize it and deliver it several places.
I read books about Edison and discovered that he suffered from a hearing impairment that resulted from his father pulling him up on a train where he was a conductor...by his ears! This didn't stop Edison.
He became a prolific inventor having his hands in electricity, the phonograph, the telephone, moving pictures and more. The invention that rested with me the longest was the incandescent light bulb. He worked on finding an element or alloy that could be the filament of the light bulb. The trait that was displayed in this and other inventions of his was persistence. He was said to have tried over 10,000 different options for the filament. He was quoted as saying that he didn't fail 10,000 times. He found 10,000 ways that didn't work.
Part of why I identify with Edison is I am persistent. My mom used to call me hard-headed. That perjorative statement caused me to lose heart and back off of my persistence. I saw it as a flaw and not a gift. I often ask questions and keep asking them until I get an answer I believe covers all the bases. I look for the answer that answers all the questions and doesn't just arrive at a quick solution. I want a long term solution to a problem so I can go on to the next and not have to return to something I've considered solved before. I want to find solutions to problems that others have given up on as unsolveable.
Persistence. Hard-headedness. Bull-headedness (another perjorative term I heard often!). I want to exercise those gifts to bless my world with something that has lasted as long as the incandescent light bulb.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Buyer Remorse
Everyone wants a revolutionary until they get one.
I've sat through so many meetings where people clamour over the ideas that bring life to something only to have them turn into the biggest enemies of change once it begins to happen.
Revolutionaries don't leave things the way they are. They cut to the quick and get to the real issues. That's when all the excuses start coming out. "We've never done it that way before. Good luck on that one. I've been trying it for 16 1/2 years with no success. I'm glad someone finally wants to take an interest in that! (but don't ask me to help)"
One of the things revolutionaries bring is conflict. They don't take excuses. They don't take lame answers. They don't let people slide by. They confront old habits. They question someone's sacred calf idea. They ask why we continue to do things this way when they don't produce the results we want. The revolutionary quickly becomes the bad guy who wants to interrupt everyone's little party. Then begins the stream of whiners to the "parents" of the organization. "He's not playing right. Why is he so frustrated? Can't he just relax?" The organization is dying but don't even think of bringing life. We'd rather die a slow death than change.
The revolutionary experiences loneliness a lot. People are afraid to trust someone bringing in new ideas. So many have gone before that they have gotten attached to but didn't last. They hold back to wait and see if this one can pull it off.
Revolutionaries are like stallions. They buck and kick and break down fences. They run off into the sunset with their manes trailing in the wind. They are not easily tamed. In fact, as John Eldredge has stated, the only way to settle down a stallion is to geld him...but then he can no longer bring life.
We had some friends who did their thing with horses once. The oldest of their mares was old and didn't seem to have much life...until the young stallion from across the street got loose and came to visit. That old mare suddenly became a young honey who was thrilled to see the young stallion with life. It was quite a task to get them apart.
Life. We're like the frog in the pot of boiling water. We'll sit there as the heat is turned up until we die, never thinking about jumping out of the pot. We'll stay in a situation, criticize the revolutionaries and stallions until we die.
Having a revolutionary around is hard. It brings conflict but I have seen conflict produce some of the closest relationships I've had as the conflict is worked through. In conflict, someone drops all their guards and the little kid inside comes out. Then you can connect. It isn't pretty. In fact if you are a peace-lover don't ask a revolutionary home to dinner. They'll get you to real peace but it will take conflict to get there. Most of us don't have the heart for that.
I'm a revolutionary and although I'd like to retire from the battles I still get into them without hesitation. I'm more cautious now, letting people know what they are in for but it still seems to go over their heads. They really don't know the price or the benefits of having a revolutionary around.
Anyone need life?
I've sat through so many meetings where people clamour over the ideas that bring life to something only to have them turn into the biggest enemies of change once it begins to happen.
Revolutionaries don't leave things the way they are. They cut to the quick and get to the real issues. That's when all the excuses start coming out. "We've never done it that way before. Good luck on that one. I've been trying it for 16 1/2 years with no success. I'm glad someone finally wants to take an interest in that! (but don't ask me to help)"
One of the things revolutionaries bring is conflict. They don't take excuses. They don't take lame answers. They don't let people slide by. They confront old habits. They question someone's sacred calf idea. They ask why we continue to do things this way when they don't produce the results we want. The revolutionary quickly becomes the bad guy who wants to interrupt everyone's little party. Then begins the stream of whiners to the "parents" of the organization. "He's not playing right. Why is he so frustrated? Can't he just relax?" The organization is dying but don't even think of bringing life. We'd rather die a slow death than change.
The revolutionary experiences loneliness a lot. People are afraid to trust someone bringing in new ideas. So many have gone before that they have gotten attached to but didn't last. They hold back to wait and see if this one can pull it off.
Revolutionaries are like stallions. They buck and kick and break down fences. They run off into the sunset with their manes trailing in the wind. They are not easily tamed. In fact, as John Eldredge has stated, the only way to settle down a stallion is to geld him...but then he can no longer bring life.
We had some friends who did their thing with horses once. The oldest of their mares was old and didn't seem to have much life...until the young stallion from across the street got loose and came to visit. That old mare suddenly became a young honey who was thrilled to see the young stallion with life. It was quite a task to get them apart.
Life. We're like the frog in the pot of boiling water. We'll sit there as the heat is turned up until we die, never thinking about jumping out of the pot. We'll stay in a situation, criticize the revolutionaries and stallions until we die.
Having a revolutionary around is hard. It brings conflict but I have seen conflict produce some of the closest relationships I've had as the conflict is worked through. In conflict, someone drops all their guards and the little kid inside comes out. Then you can connect. It isn't pretty. In fact if you are a peace-lover don't ask a revolutionary home to dinner. They'll get you to real peace but it will take conflict to get there. Most of us don't have the heart for that.
I'm a revolutionary and although I'd like to retire from the battles I still get into them without hesitation. I'm more cautious now, letting people know what they are in for but it still seems to go over their heads. They really don't know the price or the benefits of having a revolutionary around.
Anyone need life?
Monday, October 4, 2010
Revolutionary
It's hard to feel like a revolutionary when you are sitting at home with a cold on a rainy day.
But yesterday was different. Pat and I went for a walk. She tried to encourage me for a few blocks and then we fell silent. I even walked a little behind her for awhile instead of dragging her at my pace as usually happens.
Eventually, she asked me what I was thinking. I'm always a sucker for that question. I enjoy processing things verbally. Part of what I said to her was one of the things I identify myself by. I am a revolutionary. I like to turn things upside down, especially things that have been left alone for so long.
That's why I asked some of the questions I did when I pastored. "Why do we need Sunday School? Why do we meet on Sunday mornings? Why do we do things the way we do them?" Those kinds of questions make people uneasy. It requires them to think about things. I requires them to substantiate their answers. It's not good enough to have them say as the Amishman says, "because we always done it that way."
Part of what stimulated that question was an invitation from my neighbor to attend his church. (He noticed that we don't rush off somewhere on Sunday morning like so many in the neighborhood). He said things were good, okay or something like that at his church except for the changes in worship. The age-old controversy between singing off the wall/scripture songs and singing hymns in perfect 4 part harmony without accompanying instruments. But the sermons were good.
What makes them good? Because they sound good? Because they have 3 points? Because they use a lot of scripture? Or are they good because the Spirit of God uses the message to convict my neighbor and others of areas in their lives where they are far from God? I'm afraid I wouldn't fit in his church. I would shortly offend someone because I wasn't satisfied with the mix of music or the content of the sermons or the fact that I want to grow in my spiritual life. I want to live on the edge. I was to see the power of God unleashed to change the world we live in.
$100,000,000 isn't going to change the home situations of the children in Newark, NJ. It isn't going to change the absence of parenting and moral teaching that their parents didn't get. It isn't going to remove the hopelessness they have. It isn't going to heal their hearts. Only a spiritual, heart change can do that. Only an encounter with Jesus and his healing power can do that. Only the restoration of families and lives will do that. It isn't about money, it's about love.
So I would probably be labeled ungrateful for not being excited about the grant of $100,000,000 just like I'm not excited about "good" sermons and lifeless worship. I would be criticized for not celebrating the microscopic growth of a church over 25 or 30 years. I'm looking for 3,000 added to the church in one day! I'm looking for captives being set free! I'm looking for permanent change in lives. I'm looking for the Holy Spirit to help us sort out the mess when we turn it upside down, shake it up and let him tell us what to keep and what to throw away.
If we don't do some revolutionary things in our world it isn't going to be around long. It's time for the church to be salt and light...one individual at a time. Does anyone out there need a revolutionary? I know one looking to turn some things upside down.
But yesterday was different. Pat and I went for a walk. She tried to encourage me for a few blocks and then we fell silent. I even walked a little behind her for awhile instead of dragging her at my pace as usually happens.
Eventually, she asked me what I was thinking. I'm always a sucker for that question. I enjoy processing things verbally. Part of what I said to her was one of the things I identify myself by. I am a revolutionary. I like to turn things upside down, especially things that have been left alone for so long.
That's why I asked some of the questions I did when I pastored. "Why do we need Sunday School? Why do we meet on Sunday mornings? Why do we do things the way we do them?" Those kinds of questions make people uneasy. It requires them to think about things. I requires them to substantiate their answers. It's not good enough to have them say as the Amishman says, "because we always done it that way."
Part of what stimulated that question was an invitation from my neighbor to attend his church. (He noticed that we don't rush off somewhere on Sunday morning like so many in the neighborhood). He said things were good, okay or something like that at his church except for the changes in worship. The age-old controversy between singing off the wall/scripture songs and singing hymns in perfect 4 part harmony without accompanying instruments. But the sermons were good.
What makes them good? Because they sound good? Because they have 3 points? Because they use a lot of scripture? Or are they good because the Spirit of God uses the message to convict my neighbor and others of areas in their lives where they are far from God? I'm afraid I wouldn't fit in his church. I would shortly offend someone because I wasn't satisfied with the mix of music or the content of the sermons or the fact that I want to grow in my spiritual life. I want to live on the edge. I was to see the power of God unleashed to change the world we live in.
$100,000,000 isn't going to change the home situations of the children in Newark, NJ. It isn't going to change the absence of parenting and moral teaching that their parents didn't get. It isn't going to remove the hopelessness they have. It isn't going to heal their hearts. Only a spiritual, heart change can do that. Only an encounter with Jesus and his healing power can do that. Only the restoration of families and lives will do that. It isn't about money, it's about love.
So I would probably be labeled ungrateful for not being excited about the grant of $100,000,000 just like I'm not excited about "good" sermons and lifeless worship. I would be criticized for not celebrating the microscopic growth of a church over 25 or 30 years. I'm looking for 3,000 added to the church in one day! I'm looking for captives being set free! I'm looking for permanent change in lives. I'm looking for the Holy Spirit to help us sort out the mess when we turn it upside down, shake it up and let him tell us what to keep and what to throw away.
If we don't do some revolutionary things in our world it isn't going to be around long. It's time for the church to be salt and light...one individual at a time. Does anyone out there need a revolutionary? I know one looking to turn some things upside down.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wide Open Spaces...scare me!
I can't number the times I have wished I had a week to do this or a week to do that without interruption. Well, now I've got it and I don't know what to do with it.
There is this nagging that I need to hurry up and get a job so the income will continue to come in. I need to "do" something. That's always been easy for me. I can "do" all day, come away tired and not be sure what I have accomplished. In fact, sometimes the doing keeps me from facing the nagging questions in my heart.
What is my destiny? What has God called me to do? If I were a mechanic I would easily surmise that I was to be working in some type of garage fixing things. If I were an optometrist, like a close friend of mine, it would seem only logical to help people find sight when they are losing it due to aging, etc.
But what about me? I have so many interests and skills that I have acquired over the years. Where do I go with them? What do I do with the blank slate I have before me right now?
I'm 61 years old, more encumbered than ever before in my life and not because I own new cars or have a Harley. It just costs more to live that I would like it to. And moving to some place else might even increase those living expenses. The fact is my $925 mortgage payment (even though it is for 30 years!) is probably cheaper than we could rent an apartment for. Someone I know is renting bedrooms in their home for $500 a month and gets more applications than they have bedrooms for.
So what do I do with the wide open spaces? I'm staring into space. I'm reading and trying to stay busy. Being still and listening seems like such an unnoble (I tried ignoble but it didn't seem to work) thing to be doing. Do I really want to rush to a decision right now and blow it again? I think I've done that a few times in life. Do I have the time to really explore what it is that God has called me to...and I haven't settled in to yet?
Oh, yeah, it scares me to have a blank slate! I'm feeling those baby feelings of fright when first outside the womb and there are no walls to contain me. Help me to feel the containment of your huge hands, Father, where I am afraid.
There is this nagging that I need to hurry up and get a job so the income will continue to come in. I need to "do" something. That's always been easy for me. I can "do" all day, come away tired and not be sure what I have accomplished. In fact, sometimes the doing keeps me from facing the nagging questions in my heart.
What is my destiny? What has God called me to do? If I were a mechanic I would easily surmise that I was to be working in some type of garage fixing things. If I were an optometrist, like a close friend of mine, it would seem only logical to help people find sight when they are losing it due to aging, etc.
But what about me? I have so many interests and skills that I have acquired over the years. Where do I go with them? What do I do with the blank slate I have before me right now?
I'm 61 years old, more encumbered than ever before in my life and not because I own new cars or have a Harley. It just costs more to live that I would like it to. And moving to some place else might even increase those living expenses. The fact is my $925 mortgage payment (even though it is for 30 years!) is probably cheaper than we could rent an apartment for. Someone I know is renting bedrooms in their home for $500 a month and gets more applications than they have bedrooms for.
So what do I do with the wide open spaces? I'm staring into space. I'm reading and trying to stay busy. Being still and listening seems like such an unnoble (I tried ignoble but it didn't seem to work) thing to be doing. Do I really want to rush to a decision right now and blow it again? I think I've done that a few times in life. Do I have the time to really explore what it is that God has called me to...and I haven't settled in to yet?
Oh, yeah, it scares me to have a blank slate! I'm feeling those baby feelings of fright when first outside the womb and there are no walls to contain me. Help me to feel the containment of your huge hands, Father, where I am afraid.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Giving Back
Finally, I can write on my blog again after a few days of really pesky internest/computer service. Not sure what was going on.
We're two doors from the end of our street. Right across the intersection is a big square of Amish/Mennonite farms. We've been walking around the big square and can do it in about 45 minutes. As soon as I was laid off I thought about that square. There was so much trash that my OCDC...ADHD...ESTJ...um? OCD! kicked in and I had to clean it up.
So I started out the other day after lunch. It was supposed to start raining about 3 pm so I had plenty of time to get things cleaned up. I walked down one way to the corner and back. Then started up another leg of the square, around the corner, down the long stretch and then down the road with a dog leg. I had filled up one bag and was ready to start on my second.
As I started down the road it began to sprinkle but it felt good. I was sweating and it was humid. As I neared the corner just down from our house I debated about turning around but stuck with it. Then it began to really pour. And pour. And pour. I finally had to take my glasses off it was raining so hard. I asked God to sharpen my vision so I could see the trash. By the time I finished I was completely soaked...but it felt good.
So giving back. It's not my trash. It's not my problem. Someone else threw it out. Someone else is a jerk, a litterer, doesn't care. That judgement doesn't pick up the trash, does it? It really boils down to an individual choice. I can give back to my community or I can stand in judgement and use the topic to vent some of my anger at other things. I can take responsibility. I'm sure there are times someone else has picked up things for me.
This is my community and I take pride in seeing it look good. In fact, if I had my mower still I would probably mow the roadsides a little better so it looked even more manicured.
Ah, I can blog again.
We're two doors from the end of our street. Right across the intersection is a big square of Amish/Mennonite farms. We've been walking around the big square and can do it in about 45 minutes. As soon as I was laid off I thought about that square. There was so much trash that my OCDC...ADHD...ESTJ...um? OCD! kicked in and I had to clean it up.
So I started out the other day after lunch. It was supposed to start raining about 3 pm so I had plenty of time to get things cleaned up. I walked down one way to the corner and back. Then started up another leg of the square, around the corner, down the long stretch and then down the road with a dog leg. I had filled up one bag and was ready to start on my second.
As I started down the road it began to sprinkle but it felt good. I was sweating and it was humid. As I neared the corner just down from our house I debated about turning around but stuck with it. Then it began to really pour. And pour. And pour. I finally had to take my glasses off it was raining so hard. I asked God to sharpen my vision so I could see the trash. By the time I finished I was completely soaked...but it felt good.
So giving back. It's not my trash. It's not my problem. Someone else threw it out. Someone else is a jerk, a litterer, doesn't care. That judgement doesn't pick up the trash, does it? It really boils down to an individual choice. I can give back to my community or I can stand in judgement and use the topic to vent some of my anger at other things. I can take responsibility. I'm sure there are times someone else has picked up things for me.
This is my community and I take pride in seeing it look good. In fact, if I had my mower still I would probably mow the roadsides a little better so it looked even more manicured.
Ah, I can blog again.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Filing Unemployment
In all my years with all my jobs I have never filed unemployment. It was scary to do that online this morning. They referred me to a listing of jobs that were available in the category that I selected--management. But it was very intimidating to realize I need to go out and sell myself to someone who is also trying to sell themselves to me. I don't like the artificial atmosphere that presents.
In the past I've always worked the network of friends and contacts I've had to find a position that fits me. I'll admit to rushing into several situations because of the fear of not having steady income. But here in Lancaster County I really don't have that great a network of friends and associates. In fact, I'm struggling to know who to contact. In some ways that leaves me with only the Father to lean on. It's a new venture to step out in this way and to trust that he knows where he wants me and where I'll land up.
I want to take this time to really explore what is in my heart. It is so easy to just take something and shape yourself to it. It has led to frustration to me at times in the past. I get in a situation and feel that I am tied up, tied down and restricted from doing what I can really do.
I have been likened to a stallion. I can bring life to things but I do it with a lot of kicking, biting and passion along the way. Many people don't know how to deal with a stallion and don't want the wildness so they geld the stallion. That calms him down but also takes away the ability to bring life (John Eldredge).
I want to make a difference in life. I want to impact the world I live in. I want to touch the lives of those I work with. I want to contribute to bettering the world rather than just taking from it. I see so much need but am not sure where to apply my gifts to help meet that need.
On the journey.
In the past I've always worked the network of friends and contacts I've had to find a position that fits me. I'll admit to rushing into several situations because of the fear of not having steady income. But here in Lancaster County I really don't have that great a network of friends and associates. In fact, I'm struggling to know who to contact. In some ways that leaves me with only the Father to lean on. It's a new venture to step out in this way and to trust that he knows where he wants me and where I'll land up.
I want to take this time to really explore what is in my heart. It is so easy to just take something and shape yourself to it. It has led to frustration to me at times in the past. I get in a situation and feel that I am tied up, tied down and restricted from doing what I can really do.
I have been likened to a stallion. I can bring life to things but I do it with a lot of kicking, biting and passion along the way. Many people don't know how to deal with a stallion and don't want the wildness so they geld the stallion. That calms him down but also takes away the ability to bring life (John Eldredge).
I want to make a difference in life. I want to impact the world I live in. I want to touch the lives of those I work with. I want to contribute to bettering the world rather than just taking from it. I see so much need but am not sure where to apply my gifts to help meet that need.
On the journey.
I'm learning how to log-in and log-out to my blog. Old dog, new tricks.
One of the things I've always struggled with is the voices in my head. Unfortunately, I am like to many of us walking this earth...I didn't always hear the most uplifting encouragement along the way. Having people in your life early on who help to draw out or rather help to keep out the real you as you mature is a rarity.
One of the illustrations in the book I mentioned yesterday is telling. Take a survey in a kindergarten class. Ask how many kids are creative and all of them will wildly wave their hands. Ask the same question later in their high school years and only a few will tentatively lift their hands with the same "yes" to creativity. Created in the image of God to be creative, we have somehow lost that vision of who we are.
I was wiggly, energetic, curious and easily bored and keeping me occupied and "on track" was a challenge. I was and still am a dreamer. One of the things that helps me get up and keep going each morning is the hope of something more exciting, some adventure joining the mundane of my daily activities. In order to keep me from being disappointed, I was encouraged to tone down my dreams, keep things in check and learn to live "within my means."
The only problem with that is I believe God meant for me to live outside the boundaries. He gave me a heart to take risks and a desire to experience adventure. I was meant to chase lions, to do valiant things and to live outside the norm. It has scared the bejeebers out of my parents.
So today at 61 I am again experiencing unemployment. No job to go to. No desk to be chained to. Could be scary...but it could also be the beginning of a new adventure.
One of the things I've always struggled with is the voices in my head. Unfortunately, I am like to many of us walking this earth...I didn't always hear the most uplifting encouragement along the way. Having people in your life early on who help to draw out or rather help to keep out the real you as you mature is a rarity.
One of the illustrations in the book I mentioned yesterday is telling. Take a survey in a kindergarten class. Ask how many kids are creative and all of them will wildly wave their hands. Ask the same question later in their high school years and only a few will tentatively lift their hands with the same "yes" to creativity. Created in the image of God to be creative, we have somehow lost that vision of who we are.
I was wiggly, energetic, curious and easily bored and keeping me occupied and "on track" was a challenge. I was and still am a dreamer. One of the things that helps me get up and keep going each morning is the hope of something more exciting, some adventure joining the mundane of my daily activities. In order to keep me from being disappointed, I was encouraged to tone down my dreams, keep things in check and learn to live "within my means."
The only problem with that is I believe God meant for me to live outside the boundaries. He gave me a heart to take risks and a desire to experience adventure. I was meant to chase lions, to do valiant things and to live outside the norm. It has scared the bejeebers out of my parents.
So today at 61 I am again experiencing unemployment. No job to go to. No desk to be chained to. Could be scary...but it could also be the beginning of a new adventure.
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