Offended

I’m not good at being politically correct…at least based on what I know of it.  When you are politically correct you don’t say something that will offend someone.  For instance, you don’t call a person who has a same-sex partner a derogatory name.  You call them a homosexual or a lesbian.  You don’t ask a woman who may just be overweight if she is pregnant.

Politically correct behavior has seemed to morph into something even broader than what you call someone.  For instance, kids are being taught in many places that there are no winners and no losers.  It doesn’t matter if that doesn’t square with the real world.

In the real world your behavior is going to be judged and your value to the organization where you are employed is going be evaluated.  You will most likely have to perform in a manner measured against some standards if you want to keep your job.

But in spite of that I still hear “politically correct” talks that seem to be aimed at making sure someone isn’t offended by what is said.  I heard the other day in a presentation about a new initiative that just because the initiative has been introduced doesn’t mean that the employees haven’t been doing a great job so far.

If that’s true, what’s the point of the new initiative?  If the old way of doing things is working across the board and producing the results you want why do you need a new initiative?  If it isn’t working, aren’t you allowed to say so and expect that the behaviors of those you employ to change?

While not politically correct, it seems that it would be more truthful to say that the customer service of our organization (put in the name of your company, church or organization) isn’t up to par and we need to change how we are relating to our customers.  We are failing to meet their expectations of good service.  In fact, they are rating us as offering poor service.

That might offend someone who thinks from their own perspective that they are doing a great job even if they aren’t.  So whose perspective prevails?  The person who is leading the organization who feels that the performance of his employees isn’t up to par or the employee who isn’t in touch with reality and feels that he/she is doing a great job when they are falling short of the goal?

And tell me something, would you change your behavior if someone didn’t “offend” you occasionally to let you know that you weren’t measuring up or that some behavior of yours was not producing the results you want?

What is the root of the offense people take at things?  It’s an indication of your woundedness.  If someone says something that trips your trigger it probably has something to do with a past wound, some way in which another person spoke cutting words to you that wounded your soul.  If you haven’t had the opportunity to know God in that place in your life the wound can still be painfully touched by unsuspecting others.

That’s the point.  If I say something unsuspecting to another with no intent to offend and they get offended have I committed a sin?  Is there anything I can do to change that person’s response? 

All we can do is ask forgiveness for any way that we have offended someone.  This opens the door for the Holy Spirit to bring conviction to that person.  It isn’t our responsibility.  We might, if they ask, have the opportunity to speak truthfully to them in love about their sensitivity.

Confronting them about their woundedness probably won’t result in a positive outcome.  It will just trigger defensiveness.  Most of us don’t realize when we are reacting in offense to something someone else has said we aren’t responding to them but to the original person who caused the offense wound in our hearts.

I’m very experienced in offending people.  I believe that is because the Father wants me to be quick to repent and provide the atmosphere for Him to work in the hearts of those I offend.  It also has to do with the fact my gifting is in the direction of the prophetic.  Do I particularly like this calling?  Not really but my Father has so worked in my life that I am willing to lay down my “life” and not make excuses for why I have offended someone so that they may experience real life as well.

What if?

Surprisingly, being in Washington doesn't involve much conversation about what is going on in government...at least from a budget standpoint.  We just keep moving forward even though the government doesn't have money and we aren't sure we are going to get a paycheck.

But as I sat in traffic this week I thought about something.  What if...

Part of the struggles of government is how to fund all the entitlements that people expect.  The government is just a big cash cow, right?  Who is the government by the way?  It's us.  We the taxpayers.  Those of us who make X dollars but only bring home Y dollars after every entity gets their share.  By the way, although I don't live in DC I realized this week they are taking out DC taxes from my pay.  I learned it is the default when they don't have a specific tax authority specified.  Funny, nobody told me that and now I have to try to recover over $700 because PA is going to want that money.

Anyway, back to my thoughts.  How did the government end up with this burden that requires all of us to fund it?  When I go back to writings about the early church I see that the widows and orphans were to be taken care of by the body of Christ.  The poor were to be provided for by the local assembly as they could.  All things we in common in the church of Acts.  If someone, even another gathering of believers had needs they just sought help from another local assembly.

So what happened?  Why are we so far from that today?  What if...all those who profess to follow Christ would contribute their tithe to helping those in need?  Let's just start in the body of Christ.  Do you know a brother or sister who could use your help?  Do you fail to give because if it isn't to a 501(c)3 organization who can give you a tax write-off you'll miss the tax benefits?  How much wealth could the body of Christ amass to help those in need if we all gave our tithe?

Another element of this ministry by the body is that of accountability.  The scripture says if you don't work you don't eat.  Could we, if we were in a relationship with a brother or sister in Christ, say to them that they need to contribute their labors somewhere even if we have to be helping them with their finances?  I've wondered as I've walked past homeless people in DC...why don't they start giving by picking up the trash in the city rather than just laying under a tree expecting a handout?  I'm not being calloused.  We all have something to give back.  It always makes me feel better about things when I feel that I'm doing something that contributes to the betterment of the world.

Should we just expect the government to be helping people with the needs in their lives?  What about helping those who are wounded emotionally and seek drugs to soothe the pain?  Does a government handout help them with their pain?  Or women who are seeking comfort and love turning to multiple partners and birthing multiple fatherless children?  Can we help them not only financially through the church but also emotionally?  Can we help them to see how much the Father loves them so that they don't need to try to find it in bed with some other man?

What if...the church were being the church rather than just taking up space on street corners with buildings?  What if all the members of local assemblies were contributing their gifts and resources, however meager, to the meeting of needs?  I would think we could make an impact in each of our communities that would make headlines.  The noise might even be heard around the world.  How long are we going to sit back and expect the government to do the loving thing that the church was called to do in the first place?

Want to reduce the deficit we all face?  Start by giving what you can, loving who you see and contributing the power of the Spirit to those without.  Don't just say "bless you" and go away, but become engaged in their lives.  It's messy but I believe it would be exciting to see just what the church could do with the ministry they have given up to the government by default.

What if...

Savin Time

Everyone in the city is in a hurry.  Nosing into traffic if there is the slightest gap.  Pushing to get "there" before anyone else does.  Walking fast.  Elbowing their way through a crowd.

What's all the rush for?  Where are they going that they need to save nano-seconds in their trip?  And when they get there are they going to be able to engage with those they are with or will they have to unwind and relieve the stress, staying focused on how tired they are from the grueling commute?

It doesn't seem worth it to me.  In fact, as I've written before, I'm finding it far less stressful to avoid being in such a rush.  I just let them go on by.  Besides, I'm finding that I get to see things they are missing.  I leave a little earlier, step aside when they are pushing in and, this is the hardest one, go ahead and let them nose in ahead of me in traffic.

Some actions just don't seem worth the effort.  I saw a woman last week going back and forth between two lanes of traffic, neither of which were moving.  She must have been bored just sitting in a straight line.  Or else it was a reaction to the stress.  Can't relax.  Can't miss an opportunity to get three more feet closer to...wherever she is rushing to go.

The one that took the cake happened the other day on the Metro.  During rush hour trains come every 4 minutes or so.  That's not a very long wait but people rush down the stairs to make sure they get down to the platform.  They rush to the end of the train closest to the stairs when they exit at their stop.  They take risks to make sure they get that train and don't have to wait.

The other day a woman actually stuck her arm and leg in the doors of the Metro to keep them from closing.  They aren't like elevator doors.  They don't pop back open when they hit you.  They just clamp shut.  She was stuck in there with her bags out on the platform asking for help to get the doors open...just so she didn't have to wait for 4 more minutes.

I guess the rush is what contributes to the lack of connection in the city.  I pass literally hundreds of people each day and few take the time to look me in the eye and greet me.  I'm making it a habit to do that.  To say hello.  To smile and to give people, even those who push in front of me, a kind expression to ease their day.

Take a minute to greet someone today.  Even those who don't seem to have the time to greet you.  Make eye contact.  Wish them a good day...or better yet...bless them.  Get to know those you see every day.  Call them by name.  They are valuable in the sight of God.  Deeply loved and in need of your smile and greeting today.

Mainstream

The concept of God-fearers has always intrigued me in the scriptures.  It leads us to the fact that there are people who’s hearts are attuned to God but who may not be a part of a faith community.  My guess is that many of them have not ventured into a church because of the lack of conventionality of their faith.  It doesn’t fit the Christian church world.

I’m also reminded of the way in which my faith has been challenged over the years in various settings.  The first of those was college.  I did not drink alcoholic beverages.  As a member of a fraternity I was in the microscopic minority of those who didn’t.  I defended my position until it became apparent to me that my reasoning for not consuming didn’t get two minutes worth of attention from those around me.

My time in the navy was also an eye-opener as I have written before.  I was faced with questions and assertions by Mormons, those practicing voodoo, metaphysicians, radical right wing Christians and others who were embracing the homosexual lifestyle.  My Baptist theology wasn’t deep enough to help me encounter the questions of those I met.

Several things came into my life to impact that.  I have written about the impact of Francis Schaeffer and his philosophic approach to the truth of the Gospel.  It enabled me to be in conversation with those who didn’t adhere to mainstream Christianity.  I’ve also been enabled to dialogue with those in the main stream of our culture as I have found the reality of God in my own emotional life’s healing.  I am convinced in a very experiential way that God is real and He and I are in relationship.

I remember writing once during a goal setting exercise when I was pastoring that I would like to study the unchurched, have more interaction with them and find out what brought them to their place of faith or lack of it.

Now I find myself immersed in that world.  I am no longer working for a self-confessed Christian business.  I am not surrounded with others who have been attracted to their employer by his or her statement of faith.  In fact, I’m in an environment where I have to be somewhat careful of “pushing” my faith on others.  I don’t have a problem with that.  I like the natural way of conversing anyway.  Tracts and confrontive evangelism have never been my style.

What of those who have never been exposed to the Gospel in any kind of organized form?  What of those who have unfortunately had a negative encounter with those of Christian faith?  Who reaches those who would never darken the door of a church to further their faith?  What of those who, if given the chance, say that they are without faith of any kind in God?  Would we ever have occasion to have conversation with them about the Gospel?

We need to be in the world.  We need to be daily interacting with others who may not have a traditional faith.  We need to have communities (notice I didn’t say church—I’m not talking about a building with organized programs) where faith can be questioned.  Where a relationship with God can be sorted out.  Where we can court the Father before we commit our lives to following Him. 

I want to be there.  Right in the middle of the mixing pot.  I want to be on the mount sharing my heavenly Father with those who are searching for truth and seeking for life…and that to the full.  There is a deep hunger in our culture for something of meaning.  Too much of life is being lived by those who are just existing.  Then there is the other extreme of those who are living life by amassing as many toys as they can to flavor life and make it all worthwhile.

I haven’t found either of those in my relationship with the Father.  I have found a richness and fullness of life and joy.  I want others to have the opportunity to experience that.  It’s without cost—at least monetarily. 

Tolerance

Tolerance is a word I have most often heard in relation to mechanical tolerances.  The Japanese have long been known for their close tolerances in their mechanical parts.  That's part of what makes them last so long.  Compare the engine of a Model T to one in a Lexus.  It's hard to believe they are both the same kind of machine.  The closer tolerances of the Lexus make the engine purr rather than rattle and clank like the Model T.

In more recent days I have heard tolerance used as a way to describe my feelings toward those who are not like me.  I am, being politically correct, to be tolerant of those who have a different lifestyle than mine.  Funny how many times those persons aren't tolerant of where I am.

So does God just call us to be tolerant of people?  That seems so negative.  Like I just can't hardly stand to be with someone but I'll suck it up and make the best of it.  Hopefully, it won't last long.  I'm sure when I am being merely "tolerant" that the other person is able to pick that up.  My smile is fake and they know it.  Trust me, God doesn't need us to "act" tolerant.

What I've found as the Father has healed my heart is that I am more genuinely tolerant of others.  I'm even patient with their dysfunction, not just tolerant of it.  I'm even compassionate of the place they find themselves in.

What changed all that?

When I was hurting so badly I couldn't think of any one else but me.  I was in pain so I needed all the attention and sympathy I could get.  My pain was sticking out all over so I didn't have more than a second or two of tolerance for someone else's behavior.  Wow!  Sounds a lot like a 2 year old.

As the Father has healed my wounds I have found that I have more compassion for the misbehaviors, if you will, of others.  I see people in the traffic here in DC with microseconds of patience with the other vehicles and their drivers.  It's hard not to judge them but as I remember and am reminded by the Holy Spirit I pray for them and bless them.  They are hurting and don't have the capacity to give others room in their lives...or room in their lane of traffic.

As I have come to know the Father more intimately I have relaxed a whole bunch.  Talk to those who know me well (my wife).  I'm not the same person...and no, it's not the medication I'm on.

It's because I know I don't have to fight for space in this world.  I am a child of my Father.  He loves me.  He cares for me.  He is with me wherever I go.  He comforts me.  He has great patience with me.  He has tolerated me in my sin for a long time.  As I receive His love, experience His patience with me and know how He feels about me as one of His children I can love others.  I can give them the grace they need.  I can demonstrate the love of the Father for them.  I can have mercy when they are so wounded that they can't think of any one else.

That clanking engine in the Model T reminds me of the scripture in Corinthians that says that without love we are like a clanging bell.  Not a pleasant sound.

Let me suggest you stop trying to "love" or be "tolerant" of others.  Your efforts are going to come across as fake to those who hurt.  Stop long enough to let the Father love you, heal your wounds and pour grace on your wounded soul.  Then your "tolerance" will come across as that Lexus and will purrrrrrrr....right into the heart of the one you are loving.

Is it OK?

It's a small world.  Friends of mine were recently in Rehobeth for some vacation.  One of the friends knows how to speak PA Dutch.  She gets a kick out of finding someone like Amish people who are out of their element, saying something to them in Dutch and watching their reaction.

That happened.  She spoke to the husband of the couple and they struck up a conversation.  In the course of the conversation my friend realized that this Amish couple may know me because they have a store in Spartensburg, PA.  She mentioned my name and the wife's eyes lit up.  They were off to the races then.

My Amish friends are a wonderful couple and I enjoyed visiting them when I made my rounds in their area as I sold fabric.  My visits weren't all just about how much fabric I could sell.  They got into the personal.  The spiritual.  The real part of my customers' lives.

The same was true with this couple.  We talked often about our relationship with the Father and what He was doing in the world.

Of course, they wanted to know where I was.  My other English friends told them about my job in Washington, DC with the Veterans Affairs.  They were a bit surprised and suggested that maybe since I was spiritual that it was unusual to find me here.

So where are Christians supposed to be?  What are we supposed to be?  Last time I checked we were to be in the world but not of the world.  We are to be salt and light wherever we go.  Can I do that working for the government?  Certainly.  I am a child of the King wherever I find myself.

Are there needy hearts in Washington?  Are their needy hearts on the Metro each morning and evening?  Are there needy hearts in my office?

Haven't had any trouble finding them so far!

What are we as Christians supposed to be doing in the world?  We are to serve.  We are to love.  We are to be available where the Holy Spirit needs us to be.  As we love we create an atmosphere where people can smell the scent of the Father.  As we serve we are ambassadors for Christ.  As we give of ourselves we usher in the presence of the Holy Spirit so He can speak to hearts and woo those around us.

We can also do just the opposite.  We can create static by our inconsistencies and aid the enemy by our lack of integrity.  Someone told me this weekend about a fellow who attended church diligently, came to football practice where he was the coach with his suit on, fresh from church...and proceeded to curse the players out with language that would make a sailor blush.  My guess is that his testimony wasn't met with awe but rather disgust.

When I was pastoring in Mountville, PA I used to go into the local bar across the street every morning to get my paper.  They came to know me during my ever so brief stops and eventually called me Father Murphy.  Some time later someone came to interview me about my pastorate and they made the comment that they would never darken the door of a bar.  It just wasn't the right thing for a Christian to do.  Are we to leave the dark places to the enemy and hide in the light?  Or are we to take the light into the dark places?

Seems simple but we get sidetracked so easily.  God is calling all of us who profess to be followers of Christ to serve and to love wherever we find ourselves.  It's okay to be salt and light in dark places.  It's good for us to press forward into battle in the territory of the enemy wherever you think that might be.

My Father hasn't called me to be a judge of the world but a lover of the people of the world so He can reach them.  It's OK.  I'm under cover for the Father.  How about you?

Eyes to See

I had a unique experience last November...at least unique to me.  I had someone sit down with me, go over my resume, probe me about my experiences in life and encourage me to aim higher.  That person was my sister-in-law.  It's not that she is one of my best and oldest friends.  In fact, we could be said to have hardly knew each other before that encounter.

Then a few weeks later she was at our home over Thanksgiving with a host of others in the family.  In one of those roundtable family discussions we got to talking about business and eventually ended up on the government.  I've heard families should avoid the topics of religion and politics but I find that the discussions can be very stimulating and fun.  My sister-in-law began to share some of the things she had seen while on temporary assignment with the VA in Washington DC.

She wasn't critical as we can be so often, coming up with things that are wrong but not offering solutions.  Instead she cast a vision of what could be.  When that starts happening I get excited.  I begin to see possibilities.  Opportunities for things to run smoother.  A chance for an organization to serve their clientele better.  I like to be right in the middle of those things.  I know.  Many of you have listened to me wrestle with the things I am trying to align.  Thank you for being patient with me.  It's who I am.

Now I find myself four weeks into working in the VA.  I have seen enough to keep me busy for months if not years.  Just as exciting is to find that there are many who are equally excited and passionate about seeing the government be more efficient, save more money and serve the veterans more effectively.  There are people who really care and see that they can make a difference...and want to.

Some of you see the beauty in flowers (so do I).  Others see the beauty of seeing things work well and jobs made more pleasant because we can meet expectations of others who come to us for help.

This week I was in project management class.  After the initial ice was broken the ideas got to cooking.  I heard many stories laced with sadness of how the departments these individuals came from around the country were not performing up to par.  They were frustrated.  Not because they wanted their jobs to be easier but because they saw what they could be doing were obstacles removed from their path.  They saw that the ultimate goal of their jobs was to serve the veterans who had served our country.

What do you see?

Whatever you see is what God has called you to do something about.  He doesn't give us vision to see things we can't touch.  He gives us eyes to see what He has gifted us to do.  If you see a piece of paper on the ground in a parking lot, do you lament the fact that someone dropped it and didn't care?  Do you think something critical about the person who is assigned to keep the lot clean?  Or do you bend over, pick it up and take it to a trash receptacle?

Do you see someone in your circle of friends hurting, lacking someone to listen or needing a smile or act of compassion?  What can you do about what you see?  Act on it.  "But I'm not qualified...or trained...or whatever."  But you have seen it and if you step out in faith God will provide what you need to act on it.  He didn't give you eyes to see something only to walk away in frustration unable to do anything about it.

So often in a situation we criticize the "leadership" or "management" or our "pastor" or those in authority over us for their lack of leadership, for not getting the job done.  Rather than demonstrate what leadership looks like we sit back and criticize.  Rather than pick up the broom and start sweeping, we look for someone else to handle it.  We can't change those who lead us but we can do what we see before us that needs doing.  We can perform the tasks and acts of mercy that our eyes see.

We can make a commitment to change our behavior.  God gave us eyes to see so we can act.

I'm going to speak out with passion because I see a vision of what can be.  I'm going to act on what I see because I can't expect someone else to do it if I'm not willing.  I can lead by example.  I'm going to encourage others who are seeing to act on what is before them.  Rally the troops.  Who knows.  At some point the tipping point might come and things might change.  What will we be seeing then?